Thursday, 23 July 2015

Ooooh Dear President Obama; THE GRASS HAS REFUSED!!!

Greetings from a Kenyan hustler; niaje bro! (How are you my brother?). I am your sister from another mother...and father. Karibu nyumbani:Welcome home away from home.

Do you know how jealous I got when I heard that you were just next door at at my neighbor's house (Tanzania) and you couldn't pop by for a glass of lemon grass tea (delicious)? Is okay: my patience has paid; you are finally visiting!

Any way, I thought I should prepare you in advance and let you know that we have tried everything: It is not working. The grass has refused to grow! My poultry and livestock can attest to this. They are surprised at the turn of events; they have been overfed these past few weeks to in return, donate manure for the grass!  Watching our agitated green army of young lads and lasses line up and wait with wheelbarrows and spades to scoop every little drooping and dung for manure amused my livestock.You should visit Kenya more often! 
Our own Dr. Evans Kidero and his deputy Jonathan Mueke got caught up in the frenzy. They have in turn spent sleepless nights on their knees staring at the clock and making one of those prayers… “Pleeeeaaase make it grow before President Obama lands on Friday, please please pleeeeaaase” Still, the gods of grass have remained apathetic.  Eventually they have sat back and relaxed like a reptile on a warm rock, listening to Survivalist’s  Me Naw Worry” song to distract and calm their troubled minds.  We still have our fingers crossed for the few remaining hours before your just might grow and paint the city green! If this is not love for you…what is?

For this reason I've been thinking Mr. President, it is hypercritical that you carry with you a green card,just one for me on your way here (Kenya) so I can bring us some greener pastures from the US; ours is just not growing…yet. If you succeed (yes you can), let me receive it in person lest it ends up in covetous hands (that green is very precious here!). 
In the meantime, I hope they will lay a green carpet (instead of the usual red one, just this once) from JKIA to the Statehouse to distract you from noticing the not so green city. If not, please wear a pair of eyes that can see beyond the brown ground…more like the quarter full glass and not three quarter empty glass type of eyes. It is just mud coated! Below is a green carpet of grass, waiting to spring up and dance to the wind. But anytime you crave to see something green, just stare at the green stripe on our National Flag. It is sooo green you’ll love it.

Without further ado, I invite you with certainty to my evergreen serene village in Kakamega (all meals on me, including honeyed green tea for breakfast), now that I cannot afford bus fare to Nairobi city to catch a glimpse of you (oh how I wish I could). I want to see The Beast cruise in my village! My mother is a greengrocer: She will pack you a little gift of green maize (very fresh), green avocados (very ripe), lemon grass (very green) and catch you our hysterical cockerel (has some green feathers and a habit of crowing regardless of the time) for her Excellency Michelle, Malia and Sasha to feast on your return to the US. It is a sign of love,blessings and respect when one sends you back home with a cockerel. I can imagine how excited the cockerel will be to fly in Airforce 1 which even I myself have never seen with my naked eyes! But no worries, I will remain grinning from ear to ear with my precious green card, buried in my deep pockets of possible dreams of greener pastures.
With all due respect Mr. President,karibu nyumbani; it's been years bro!

No comments:

Post a Comment